Children Books

I recently began to wonder about parenting. I wondered how much did my parents actually think about raising me as opposed to actually raising me. How much was raising my sisters and brothers just pure instincts and trial and error? Did they really sit down with books and read about everything that could happen? Were they worried about messing up our lives and not giving us all the tools we needed to succeed? For that matter, did they even know how to give me the tools they wanted me to have?

I came upon this train on thought this weekend at the outlet mall. I was walking around checking stuff out, when this big head baby came running towards the door. She was maybe a little past one year old. Obviously still learning how to move around in the world from her oh-so wobbly steps. Her mother jumps in front of her. "Now Ashley you have to stay with mommy. You have to stay here with me" The baby looks her mother in the face, rocks her big head side to side, does the slowest spin move ever pulled on a grown person, and takes off running. A full 1/4 mph sprint in another direction. The mother sighs and steps in front off Ashley again. I watch her do that 3 more times. I couldn't help but think she read that in a book. No one would sit back and conceive of talking to a child with the expectation of comprehension and obedience.

I've seen all these studies about child development. I once read about this doctor that said children should be encouraged to make there own decision and be self sufficient as soon as possible. Such as telling parents what they would like to eat and deciding when they should go to sleep. The doctor said children know what they need and will communicate it sufficiently. The doctor said this helps children develop a strong sense of self. All parents have to do is be there to provide those needs and talk to their children about what they suggest. Sounds like the same study that had Ashley's mother reasoning with her one year old. Sounds like a big load bullsh*t to me. Only in a book will you ever hear about giving that kind of power to a child.

I imagine parenting to be a much more fluid activity than what you read in a book. The book makes it seem so simple. "Do this when your child does this" " Do this so your child won't do this" I don't think it ever works like that. Life is never that easy.

Then I think to myself, it isn't even about the child. The book is for the parents. The book is there to give the parents a way out of the pressures and ramnifications of being the care giver and role model of another person. It's there to relieve them of the guilt they might feel later if their precious baby boy rapes a stripper from a local college that is trying to raise money for tuition. The book is a metaphor. Something akin to giving someone lost in a jungle a crooked line on a dirty hankerchief and saying its the way home. The book is hope against the uncertainty of the future.

Should she have talked to baby Ashley and let her say when she wants to go to bed? I don't know. If I was running for the door, my mama would pop me in the head and pulled me back. I would've stayed. She didn't read that in a book.