Daddy Dearest

I'm not going to say anything stupid and catchy like "Anybody can be a father, it takes a real man to be a dad". I think that's a pretty lame tagline. I can't be associated with such lame ass slogans.

I will agree with the sentiments of it. Connections are not made by blood. They are made from experience. Growing up my pops moved me and my family from Virginia to North Carolina. He worked hard at some jobs he absolutely hated to provide for his family. He was always did whatever he could to improve our surroundings. We planted bushes, built stuff (sheds, porches, fences), did yard work. Our relationship was built by everything he did for me and with me. It was built from everyday I woke up and saw him there watching out for me. It was built form every conversation we had, every dinner we ate together, every laughed we shared. All those things endeared him in my mind.

Another one of those lame slogan out there is "I don't need a man to help raise my kids." Yes you do. Parenting is a two person job: Mother and Father. Saying that their is no need for a father in a child's life (boy or girl) is like saying your kid doesn't need to eat everyday. Am I saying a woman can't raise a child properly on her own? Does that mean I'm calling women weak? Hell no. I commend you for raising your child inspite of the obstacles. That doesn't replace the influence of a good father. Never will. Proclaiming how strong you are all by yourself is cool but let's not take it so far as to say fathers are unnecessary, just because you may have picked the wrong man to get knocked up by.

There are those deadbeat muthaf#&%as. These are the lame ass dudes that never come around. That leave their kids waiting by the window wishing for the next car to be familiar. That swear to God they wouldn't miss your 8th grade graduation for the world and never show up. That promise to send you the money you need for school clothes and never send it. That torment their kids by making them feel like they aren't good enough to be loved by the man that made them.

I hate them. They make me want to go Ghostface on 'em ("I'll smack fire out ya ass son! Eat a dick muthaf#&$a!") Those filled with excuses cats. Those selfish bastards make me mad as hell. They don't stay completely out of the picture. They don't want to be too far away just in case their child does something special so they can jump in for the picture. It's too much for them to actually stop by and see their daughter for no reason, but suddenly they want to walk her down the isle when she gets married.

I want to stick up for men. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt because when my time comes around I don't want any precedents to keep me from being all up in my kid's lives. When those dumb sumbitches act up, responsible cats like myself get shorted by mothers scarred by worthless fathers. All the stories linger in the air, faceless and nameless, to be put on the next man up.

You see I'm a firm believer in the rights of fathers. I advocate for fathers every chance I get. I demand that women respect the rights of men as fathers all over the world. Fathers need to be included in decisions that have anything to do with their children. They need to have access to their kids. They shouldn't be relegated to being slapped with child support and whatever else the mother feels he should get.

Such is the nature of my problem. Soon as I plant my feet in the sand, ready to stand my ground, some dummy comes along ruining his kid's life. Torturing the babies by almost being there. He won't step up and help them. He doesn't have the decency to die and/or go away. That just makes it harder for everybody. For the mother for putting up with his ragedy ass, the child forever wanting to be be loved and accepted by his ragedy ass, and people like me trying to make sure fathers aren't marginalized socially and legally by his ragedy ass.

Ya sorry bastard.