Ice Cream Therapy

It's been a tough week for a lot of people. I'm sure my own personal struggles would surely bore you to pieces so I'll stick to the world at large. I'm passing out ice cream sandwiches to people today to help them cope with their hardships. Sitting back and enjoying a delicious ice cream sandwich goes perfectly with wallowing self pity.

(Disclaimer: The pity party ends when the sandwich ends. I can only tolerate that "whoa is me" s#$% but for so long. If creamy vanilla ice cream packed in between two chocolatey delicious wafers doesn't cheer you up, seek professional help because you got a problem)

Chris Daughtry got voted off American Idol. All you ever heard this whole season is how great Chris was. "Chris is a real artist." "Chris you're so wonderful" "Chris let me suck you off " Despite all that Chris got voted off in "an Idol shocker." Every since then this guy has done hundreds of interviews about how shocked he was. How disappointed he is at the outcome. How he just can't seem to understand what happened. How everybody told him he was gonna win. Dude! Get a hold of yourself! Eat this ice cream sandwich and listen to all the people complain about how they called your number and ended up voting for Katherine "I screech therefore I am" McPhee. You'll be alright. Now you can go learn how to take the wireless mic off the stand so you won't walk with it like a jerk. That s*#% was annoying.

Barry Bonds is getting shafted by the press and everybody. As he slowly but oh so steadily climbs past Babe Ruths homerun record nobody is showing this guy love. The MLB said they won't acknowledge him breaking that record because that other ni..uh..Hank Aaron already beat it into the ground. They won't celebrate twice. The press hates how he won't squirm and bow down to the almighty media. They want to put an asterisk beside his career numbers because of that pesky performance enhancing drugs thing. Fans say he's ruined the sport. They throw stuff at him. Not the regular comic-relief stuff from Looney Toons. like tomatoes, lettuce, eggs, that kind of stuff. They throw syringes. ?! What is that all about? Bottles and s*$%. They are really trying to take him out sometimes. Damn Barry. You get 2 delicious ice cream sandwiches dude.

This is very much out of character for me but I have to give George Bush an ice cream sandwich. I'll toss it to him 'cause I don't want that guy too close to me. When things were going good in his presidency he could get Congress to lick his ass clean after a good visit to the s#*$ter and all he had to worry about was those whining ass democrats. Now that guy gets no love from anybody. He was dickin around with the budget for a year then boom 9/11. Then the war goes way off track. The vice president starts hunting the elderly. Then the leaks start coming. People are jumping ship. It's now to the point that he gets blamed for everything. I personally blame him for my toilet getting stopped up the other day. I swear I saw a new report blaming him for the sun going down at the end of the day.
Then again he made a very long series of decisions that have ran the country into a ditch and made America the enemy of the known world. Gimme my ice cream sandwich back!

I don't know if I have enough sandwiches for this last one, so its first come first serve. Ice cream sandwiches for the whole rap industry. Outkast has dropped "The Mighty O" on yall and has made everyone of you look like fools! The beat is hard, the raps are hard AND CREATIVE!!. The hook is catchy and addictive. They have done it again suckas!

MIGHTY IGHT IGHTY YYYIIII!!
OHTY OOHTY OHTY OOOO!!