Old Man Solomon

It is impossible to be the old man in the neighborhood anymore.

When I was growing up there were old people in the neighborhood that just loved kids. Not in a "let me touch your soft baby bottom" kind of way. They raised 15 kids over 30 years. They enjoyed talking to young people and helping them out. Giving those kids joy gave them joy. Its all they knew how to do. They were truly mothers and fathers. Nurturing and caring for all the little ones they could.

We got icebergs from them. If you never had a blue iceberg from an old person you missed out. Imagine sweet blue KoolAid frozen in a big white plastic cup (by the way, what kind of KoolAid is blue?) You scrape a hole through the middle with a little flat wooden spoon type thing. You sit on the porch on a hot summer day with the old people and listen to them talk about people and gossip. It's nothing like it. At the time it was just regular with Ruth and Pearlie Mae watching you. Now I realize that it was blue-mouthed summertime heaven.

Two little girls and a little boy on a bike knocked on my door this weekend. They had a sheet of paper with a hand drawn chart on it that said "Petition" at the top. The little light skin girl was the ring leader, I could tell by the way she balanced her "Petition" on her hip. Apparently they were outside playing and one of them said they need a pool. They probably all got up and asked mama if they could have a pool built in the subdivision. Mama probably said they had to get permission for all the neighbors, so they needed a petition. That's what they did.

I couldn't stop smiling. Life was so simple then. Its hot so we need a pool. All we got to do is get them to sign this and we can get a pool. Off they go door to door asking for support for a pool. I wanted to make icebergs for them. Tell them they are doing a good thing by being productive with their time. Trying to change stuff. I could sit them down and tell crazy childhood stories they would never believe my old ass ever did.

Thanks to all the Catholic priest and perverts I can't do that. I'm not at the "Oh that's old man Solomon" age. I'm at the "ain't Solomon too old to be hanging with kids" age. Something has to be wrong with me if I'm nice to kids. I got to be trying to "do something" to the little girls. The fat little girl on rollerblades busted her ass right in front of my trash can the other day. I can't help her up and wipe her off. That's improper touching of a minor. I'd have to be a registered sex offender.

Now I have to wait another 30 or 40 years to be nice to the little kids. They might not even eat icebergs by then. Its a damn shame.