In Da Club Remix

My grown women friends and the enlightened ladies that comment on this blog point out very clearly that there are plenty of reasons to go to the club for women. "I like going out to dance with my girls, have a few drinks and shake my booty" says Miz JJ. "When me and my friends go out, it truly is to UNWIND!" says Fallen Angel. I can appreciate that. (Thanks for commenting by the way).

I can understand the plight of those dudes too. I've had and still have boys that do the club thing. I know they are decent guys but decent guys don't thrive in the club. You can't get with no girl in the club being regular. You've got to adjust to your environment.

When you walk in the club you can separate the crowd into clear groups based on their intentions. These classifications are universal to any given non event night at any club across America. Maybe the world. You got your "Chill" crowd. They are just hanging with the girls. Drinking a little. Dancing in groups. Laughing at dance moves each other do. They're chilling. You got your "On the Prowl" group. They came to attract attention. They scan the crowd for cute dudes. They dance seductively by themselves and wave away ugmos that try to dance with them. The want the ballas. They don't want to get down immediately. They want to sample your money first. You got your "With Somebody" girls. They came with or to meet one person in particular. That's it. Once they find him they only dance with him, only talk to him, only look at him. Lastly, but certainly not least, you have the "Stick It In My Ass and Call Me A Bitch" girl. It's only one of them in the club at any given time.(more on the event nights). Sometimes she doesn't even show up.

That girl sets all the events in motion. First let's go on and admit that this "chick" does in fact exist and does attend the clubs on a regular basis. She's your friend that you don't drink after. That you wash your hands after you touch her. That you don't sit down in her house.

If every woman that came to the club acted respectably and with class (like 85% of all ladies in the club) there would be no problems. This "chick" opens up the endless possibilities for the end of the night for horny guys. If you can get her to dance, whisper a little something in her ear, buy a couple of drinks it's over. If you came to the club hunting for pussy, you're talking about the difference between having a good night and a great night . Her legend travels the city like a folk song on the wagon trail. Dudes that harass women in the club are looking for her. Problem is SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU!! She's a regular lady that gets it in her mind to f*#$ somebody that night. She doesn't bare the mark of the beast. She isn't hideously deformed. She isn't even immediately recognizable. Dudes have to find her. She's not always there but she comes there enough to inspire dudes like an old Negro spiritual.

(deep Negro baritone)
I'mma goin' hoooomme (GOIN" HOME)
Ta git in dat aaaass (GET THAT AAASS)
Goin' hoooooome (GOIN' HOME)
oh Lawd
Ta git in dat ass (GIT IN DAT ASS)

Dudes come to the club to find that "chick". She is all dressed up dancing around in the crowd of all the other women. The time tested, certified, absolute best way to find that "chick" is to play the law of averages. Simply put you got to have that Baseball game.

Think about it like this. An average major league hitter on a REALLY good year averages a .300. Usually you're looking at about a .200 or less. That means he is successful roughly 20% of his attempts at bat. He fails 80% of the time! Hits 2 out of 10 balls, and he's good! He'll keep his job and will be back tomorrow. When he does connect there's no guarantee he'll get past first. He keeps going because he knows eventually he's gonna connect and its gonna be one of those sweet homeruns.



Right out of the park and he can jog home to the roar of the crowd. He does that for like 200 games a season. He keeps going and striking out. 25, 30 games no hits. Running to first, maybe scoring maybe not. End of the season you only remember the sweet homeruns.

Apply that principle to the club. Everytime a dude goes holla at a girl he's at bat. He's striking out 80% of the time. Girls walk away, throw drinks in his face, cuss him out, give him fake numbers. He gets no love 80% of the time. The rest of the time he might get a number, maybe see her again, probably not. Then out of the blue he gets with that "chick" and hits it out of the park. Mission accomplished. That one time assures him he is doing something right. He keeps going.

It has nothing to do with you ladies. I know it's annoying as hell but how else do you get a girl in the club? Its proven in the law of averages. Your odds of succeeding increase by increasing the number of attempts. They have no choice but to keep going and holla at everybody they see if they want to achieve that goal. You never know which girl is that "chick".

Oh but it gets deeper..
It gets deeper...