It's Not Me, It's You

Jenny B was looking at Dr. 90210 this weekend. It's this show about a plastic surgeon and his practice in Beverly Hills. They show all these profiles on how and why people get plastic surgery. They have all these ugly women that spend thousands of dollars to be not quite as ugly. Besides that they show the doctor's life. He has this fiance that I swear was a stick with blonde hair, no curves at all. They go looking for a house in the 3 to 3.5 million dollar range. This bitch comes back and signs a contract on a 5 million dollar 8 thousand square foot mansion in Beverly Hills. Now he has to work even more hours to afford this huge house. The whole point of him getting a house was so he can give his kids a little more room to play and he can have something nice to come home to. Now he has to work more just to keep up with the massive mortgage.

I had two reactions to this. First I was wondering why in the world I was watching this wack show about these rich and extremely superficial people. Second, I thought that it was amazingly inconsiderate of this bitch to put him in this bind. Sure he's a rich and famous plastic surgeon but his funds aren't unlimited. He has to perform a service to get paid like most people. She sits at home and spends all his money, so she doesn't or can't appreciate that fact. He has to work more hours to get more money. When they sat down he probably said "Ok I usually do 8 tits, 4 chins, 3 lipos, a couple of botoxes and an ass every month. That means we can get a 3.5 mil house." She said "F#&$ you I'm getting this 5 mil house. Pay for it or I'll hate you and make your life suck for not being able to take care of me." He falls for it. He's worried about being able to make the payments, frustrated about how many more hours he'll have to work, angry about the sacrifices he'll have to make. Yet he doesn't stop her from signing the contract. That makes him the bitch not her.

That is the beginning of the biggest problems with the some relationships. How long will it be before those long hours of work, work, work start to wear down the good doctor? How long will it be until he regrets giving her that house and having to work so hard and start blaming her for ruining his life? How long after him deciding she ruined his life will he put up with all the flaws that were so cute and enduring before? How many of those idiot patients will become his mistresses through the years of the now broken marriage before he leaves the woman that ruined his life for a prettier version of her? How long will she fight the divorce before he threatens to kill her? Its a progressive build up of frustration.

It all comes from incompatibility. If two people don't match up good, coexistence is damn near impossible. You have to have basically the same goals in a relationship for it to work. The good doctors goal is to provide for his family. The good doctor's wife's goal is to do whatever the hell she wants to do and get whatever the hell she wants to get from her husband. That can't work.

I've seen it happen all the time with people with nowhere near as much money. One person's selfish behaviors poison the relationship and kill it. If people had the sense to recognize what they are doing and fix it, the relationship could be saved. Most selfish people don't see it and all problems that come from their own selfish actions are blamed on everything from their bosses to the milkman (people don't even have milkmen anymore). They refuse to take any responsibility in anything and live their lives blaming their partners for their own faults. Going from one man to the next dragging their bad attitudes, their irresponsibility, their total lack of appreciation, and their negative life sucking nagging into doomed relationship after doomed relationship.

That's why I can't sit around and listen to one-sided break up stories. You want me to comfort you and make it all better?! It's not happening, shawty. I'm not gonna sit around rub your shoulders and wipe your eyes. I'm not gonna talk s#$& about your ex. I'm gonna confront you about what really went down. I want to know and I want you to know the truth. Then you can learn from your mistakes and not destroy another relationship with your foolishness. You could talk to me and afterwards realize you never did anything wrong the whole time. It's more likely you'll see how you added to the decline and can make steps to fix it. Believe me your next partner will appreciate it.