The Lamest

Yesterday I think I would have been better off in Malibu watching my 5 million dollar mansion burn to the ground than be in the Apache Cafe watching this lame ass artist talk. It wasn't lame because of the Apache Cafe by no means. They have a decent spot and their events are usually between decent and very good. It was Dude. I refuse to give his name because I can't bring myself to advertise for such a lame ass artist.

First of all it was Dude's work. I'll describe it nicely as expressive. Take a crayon hand it to a 3 year old and tell him to draw his daddy. Then waste a little ink on it and try to wipe it off with a dirty rag. Then take that another crayon and write spanish and english words on it with your non-dominate hand. As a free thinker different styles of art don't usually bother me. I was fine with it until Dude starting talking. Rather not talking.

Dude gets up on stage. The black chick that organizes Art Mondays at Apache starts of the talk by simply asking him to say something about his show. I'm waiting anxiously for insights to his creative process. I'm always fascinated with the thought that lead to art work. He holds the mic like he's scared of it. Nothing suspicious about that, public speaking is one of the most common fears people have.
"Well uh this is my work and its real personal. Its my passion. I don't like to uh explain what the work means because I like to leave it open to interpretation by the viewer to interpret it."

....
What the f@*#?!

The black chick is probrably used to artists not know how to talk about there art. She keeps right on going. Like me she was thinking maybe he needs to start with something specific. She says, "You use words a lot in your work. In particular there are a lot of spanish words. What meaning do they hold in your work?" To which Dude replies,"I like to look at words. I'm trying to teach myself spanish so that's why they in there."

....
What the f@*#?!

I'm thinking this guy can't be serious. He must be drunk or something. No one can really be passionate about art and then have nothing to say about not just art but his own art. What followed was the lamest conversation between two people I've ever had to pay and listen to. She (the black chick) grew increasingly frustrated with his non-answers and ramblings began to antagonize and goad him to say something. Dude mumbled and bumbled and did little to represent himself well. I zoned out and began to have my own interview with myself about myself and how lame Dude on stage is right now.

Continued to kinda talk for several minute. What spewed from his mouth was an assortment of weird lame ass statement. Among my favorites were:

When asked about if he what if any training he received- "I had a scholarship to go art college. I went up in there and they wanted me to draw water. So I dropped out."

When asked about one of his pictures- "That uh piece right there, I worked on that for 24 hours. Yeah that took me all day, right there." (note he said nothing else about the piece.)

When asked about what else he was doing to promote himself- "Well I don't know a lot about uh computers. I was kicked of ebay."

Needless to say listening to this ...Dude took years off my life. I laughed quite openly at his lameness, though I have the feeling he took it as a compliment. If that ...Dude can get a show I'm pretty sure I could too. So that goes on my New Years resolution to get a show around Atlanta this year. I guarantee a better discussion than what I had to sit through.

Make sure you check out my new website. www.jbarberstudio.com.

Any comments are welcomed.