Old Man Solomon

It is impossible to be the old man in the neighborhood anymore.

When I was growing up there were old people in the neighborhood that just loved kids. Not in a "let me touch your soft baby bottom" kind of way. They raised 15 kids over 30 years. They enjoyed talking to young people and helping them out. Giving those kids joy gave them joy. Its all they knew how to do. They were truly mothers and fathers. Nurturing and caring for all the little ones they could.

We got icebergs from them. If you never had a blue iceberg from an old person you missed out. Imagine sweet blue KoolAid frozen in a big white plastic cup (by the way, what kind of KoolAid is blue?) You scrape a hole through the middle with a little flat wooden spoon type thing. You sit on the porch on a hot summer day with the old people and listen to them talk about people and gossip. It's nothing like it. At the time it was just regular with Ruth and Pearlie Mae watching you. Now I realize that it was blue-mouthed summertime heaven.

Two little girls and a little boy on a bike knocked on my door this weekend. They had a sheet of paper with a hand drawn chart on it that said "Petition" at the top. The little light skin girl was the ring leader, I could tell by the way she balanced her "Petition" on her hip. Apparently they were outside playing and one of them said they need a pool. They probably all got up and asked mama if they could have a pool built in the subdivision. Mama probably said they had to get permission for all the neighbors, so they needed a petition. That's what they did.

I couldn't stop smiling. Life was so simple then. Its hot so we need a pool. All we got to do is get them to sign this and we can get a pool. Off they go door to door asking for support for a pool. I wanted to make icebergs for them. Tell them they are doing a good thing by being productive with their time. Trying to change stuff. I could sit them down and tell crazy childhood stories they would never believe my old ass ever did.

Thanks to all the Catholic priest and perverts I can't do that. I'm not at the "Oh that's old man Solomon" age. I'm at the "ain't Solomon too old to be hanging with kids" age. Something has to be wrong with me if I'm nice to kids. I got to be trying to "do something" to the little girls. The fat little girl on rollerblades busted her ass right in front of my trash can the other day. I can't help her up and wipe her off. That's improper touching of a minor. I'd have to be a registered sex offender.

Now I have to wait another 30 or 40 years to be nice to the little kids. They might not even eat icebergs by then. Its a damn shame.

Where Do the Lovers Go

He saw Her.

In Walmart of course. The new city hall of everywhere. She was walking past the Nabisco snacks to the deli meats. Pushing that grey buggy with a 2 liter Pepsi sitting in the top. He didn't know what to do. Talk to her, after all this time. Walk away, like "They" never happened.

It's hard to hear that thing in my boy's voice. It can't really be described. Men especially don't want to show emotional pain. We've been conditioned to not respond to that. A little boy falls on the playground and a cacophony of voice start immediately. "Don't cry" "Stop acting like a little girl" "Suck it up and keep going". We bury that pain and hurt. Never let it show. It happens again and we bury that too. You can't cry in the open. You can't hurt out loud. If you hide it, you get rewarded. Cheered off the field. Loved and adored. Called brave and strong. A man. If you do cry you're ridiculed. Talked about and laughed at. Called a cry baby and weak. So he won't cry for it. He won't say it hurts. Atleast not to me. He'll curse himself for still feeling for her. Curse his weakness.

He wasn't weak then. When he met her she was a fresh new face working at school. He was confident and courageous. She was cute and willing. He talked to her and made her feel like she had never felt before. Somewhere in those late night exchanges she made him feel the same. The kisses they exchanged distracted them long enough for love to sneak in the room. They lived with love for 2 years inspite of themselves. Her outspoken independence and his masculine pride were at constant opposition. "They" ended as spectacularly as it began. It happened because people are dynamic and complicated. Personal connections are so frail.

I tell him life is based on yesterday, not about yesterday. "They" happened yesterday. The conversations. The exchanged glances. The late nights. The soft touches. The kisses. The love happened. Life continued. New jobs, new houses, new loves. The choices you made then, were made then. You can try to take them back and re-live it all but you really can't. It happened. It's not everything you are remembering it to be. It was more. Much more. It was every second you spent with Her. It was feeling Her there with you even when she wasn't. It was two people connected in a moment in time. That moment is forever. That moment made you the person you are.

That thing in his voice was those moments. Everything that you remember (and don't remember) from being with Her comes to your chest, locks up your breath and floods your mind. It's the comparison of that feeling to right now. That longing for the magic of it back. That regret for it having left. Those feelings are all you have left. You can't go back because you can never be that same man that loved Her then. But that lover is still there. It hurts but you live through it.

After we talked a little more, he hung up the phone and I imagined myself in his position. Standing between the Swiss cheese and the 2 ply Charmins Big Rolls. I can see Her there, smiling. Living Her life based on Her yesterdays. Putting Her red hot Jimmy Dean patties in the cart next to the Hawaiian rolls. I can smell Her hair, hear Her voice. I can feel Her. A cool breeze carries Her name across the frozen foods into my ear.

I loved Her.

Then.

Sean Coonery

No this is not Resident Evil, but it's definitely Rac-coon City out here.
Yeah I'm gonna go ahead and call it what it is. The boys are really coonin' right now. Its all on the radio, all in the video. Everywhere. They are promoting these race traitors like show dogs. They puff their coats, trim their nails, but their hair in pretty barrettes and walk them coon ass dudes on cute little leashes. These little coons are loving it. They don't see how they are perpetuating the stereotypes these white people have put on us. Loud, violent thugs. Drunken, dancing monkeys. Mysogynistic, lazy hooligans.

"oh Solomon you don't get it cause you one of them smarty art niggas"
"oh Solomon you just mad you ain't doin it big like them"
"oh Solomon you just a hater"

hate - v. 1a. To feel hostility or animosity toward. b. To detest.
2. To feel dislike or distaste for: hates washing dishes.

hat' er- n. 1. a person who hates
2. I don't have any defense against your argument, so I'm going to use this word to dismiss your criticism because I don't feel I am intellectually equipped to engage you in this conversation.

I'm indicting Atlanta rappers for Cooning in the First Degree. I know I'm always in this blog for saying how bad rappers are. I'm sorry but these dudes are really cooning out here.

Exhibit 1 Dem Framchise Boys "Ridin Rims" These dummies made a song talking totally about cars. It advertises big rims. They make no money off the sale of big rims. They don't own any part of any rim company. These jerks and a whole lot of other rappers are providing free advertising for a lot of companies. Then on top of that they buy the stuff. That makes them ty-coons.

Exhibit 2 Young Joc. meet me in the mall, going down. meet me in the trap its going down. meet me in the hood its going down. anywhere you see me its guaranteed to go down. What is it? Cooning. The little motorcycle revving move makes it a full blown minstrel show complete with singing and dancing. A whole crowd of clowns revving an invisible motorcycle....wow.

Exhibit 3 "snap music" Bouncy beats, mush mouth nonsenseical lyrics, more goofy dancing.

There's more but I don't want to waste my whole Memorial Day weekend talking about this. I just got upset by these fools out there. I'm sorry I had to vent on people real quick. I apologize. One day I'll get over this.

Man vs. Thug

Women want a thug, huh?

When I think of a thug I think of Sherman from 8th grade. He was definitely the hardest mofo around back in the day. He didn't take s#$& from nobody, even teachers. He smacked some teacher back then(I want to say it was Mr. Comer). I believe his little brother was in the high school at the time. Everybody marveled at how high he was as he walked around school. They used to make him go to class for some odd reason. All he would do was twist his dreads and holla out profanity laced answers so people could laugh at him. I think they finally passed him out of fear and frustration because he was by far the dumbest muthaf#&$a I have ever met. He sold drugs (what self respecting thug doesn't?), got into fights damn near everyday, stayed high, had sex on campus, bullied the "nerds", and had several kids by the time I graduated (I don't think he ever graduated). He was a thug. I don't think he cared about anybody other than himself, or did a single thing of any real consequence his whole life.

That's what they want, huh?

They want that edge in a mate. A little flash and excitement. Riding around with a concealed weapon and a stash of crack in his shoe is pretty exciting. They want to know that at any moment this guy could do something totally crazy without caring about the repercussions. When he runs up on some guy in the Burger King line for standing too close to his woman it shows how much he loves you. They always bring up that "can't nobody give it to me like a thug". They want that strong, rough love. God knows nothing says loving like the smell of weed and sweaty balls in your mouth. Your whole life around ten minutes of ghetto passion. Forgetting all about how he spent your rent money on rims for an unpainted '85 Cutlass and Hennessey. How embarrassed you were when he came up to your bank job in a long tee with that fake ass grill he bought on your credit card, talking about "Where Keisha at? Tella c'mon." How he ain't never got no money but always got some hustle going on. Don't forget the bail money and the baby mama he still has sex with on occasion.

I'll admit I'm a little biased. I'm not anything close to a thug. Never have been. Never will be. I equate thugs to ignorance and laziness. Why would I want to get into fights all the time? Why I want to act all hard and not care about life? Ask any woman and she doesn't want that part either. She doesn't want the drama. She wants the toughness and the machismo. Not the bad credit and drug charges.

They've been bamboozled. Hoodwinked. The wool is over their eyes. In all actuality what you want is a real man. The attributes of a real man have been attributed to a bunch of low lives. A man is someone that takes care of his home and his woman. That has a job, plans for the future, loyalty and heart. A man makes his woman feel safe and makes her feel special. I'm a nice guy, fun to be around, and smart(and incredibly handsome). Make no mistakes that I will beat the s#&$ out of anybody that lays a hand on my family or my woman. I'm not going around looking for fights but I won't be taken advantage of by anyone. I stand my ground and take responsibility for everything I do. I'm a man. Not a thug.

Funny thing is some women will go out and waste half their life with a slack ass fake thug, then come back around, expecting a man like me to treat them like queens. I am held to this high standard of conduct. He'll f#&% up their credit, f#&$ up their cars, f#&$ up their house, f#%& them all over the city and leave them broke with kids and bitter as hell. You want me to deal with that?

That's funny.

A real man could've been f&#%in' you all over the city. Just as good with half that drama.

?

Who cares about the winner of American Idol this season? Taylor and Katherine have provide a lackluster end to the lamest Idol season to date. Nobody blew me away(Paris was really good though). Feels like nobody tried to blow me away. I don't know if they could if they tried. I can't remember why I watched the show in the first place. Oh wait its because I'm addicted to TV. That's right.

What was Rep. William Jefferson thinking? "Honey why is the turkey thawing out on my table?" " Oh yeah that. I had to make room for my bribe money baby." $90,000 in the freezer and nowhere to put your french fries sounds like a good problem to have. If its FBI marked $100 bills from a bribe they video taped you taking from a third party, it's not such a good thing. He says he's not guilty and won't step down. Then goes on to say the FBI was wrong to raid his house and offices. They should have asked him for the evidence. They day you can trust a corrupt Congressman to turn over evidence that will send him to jail is the day I smack my boss, piss on my desk, and run down 20 butt ass naked ("buckit nekkid!" like dude from player's club). It'd be the end of the world anyway.

When did Barbaro become the mascot for the US? What the hell do I care about a horse being forced to run around a track getting injured by running around a track? This is not news. They're treating it like a heartbreaking tale of a runner injured in a freak accident. Runners chose to be there and wants to win, that horse got a bit stuff in his mouth and runs because he's being beat little man with a whip. If the horse had a choice to race or not, I'm sure those people watching the Preakness would be the only one's there.

Where can a brotha just chill and have a good time? I don't want to be shot, stabbed, robbed, or beaten. I want to just go out, hang with some other intellectual black people, maybe have a little drink or something, listen to a little live music, something not hiphop all the time, just straight chill. Let me know what's really good.

Why is Bush so intent on making these speeches about the war when no one believes him? He knows everybody thinks he's full of crap. I know they see the polls. He was waiting for something, anything to happen good in Iraq so he can boost it up. So they picked a couple of officials. Its good. I guess. We're spending $10 billion a month on this worthless war he started. The economy is not as strong as you said with gas prices through the roof. Wake me up when my boy Reggie comes back home safe to his wife and daughter. Until then don't run your mouth about nonsense. Especially when Oprah has a primetime special scheduled.

Daddy Dearest

I'm not going to say anything stupid and catchy like "Anybody can be a father, it takes a real man to be a dad". I think that's a pretty lame tagline. I can't be associated with such lame ass slogans.

I will agree with the sentiments of it. Connections are not made by blood. They are made from experience. Growing up my pops moved me and my family from Virginia to North Carolina. He worked hard at some jobs he absolutely hated to provide for his family. He was always did whatever he could to improve our surroundings. We planted bushes, built stuff (sheds, porches, fences), did yard work. Our relationship was built by everything he did for me and with me. It was built from everyday I woke up and saw him there watching out for me. It was built form every conversation we had, every dinner we ate together, every laughed we shared. All those things endeared him in my mind.

Another one of those lame slogan out there is "I don't need a man to help raise my kids." Yes you do. Parenting is a two person job: Mother and Father. Saying that their is no need for a father in a child's life (boy or girl) is like saying your kid doesn't need to eat everyday. Am I saying a woman can't raise a child properly on her own? Does that mean I'm calling women weak? Hell no. I commend you for raising your child inspite of the obstacles. That doesn't replace the influence of a good father. Never will. Proclaiming how strong you are all by yourself is cool but let's not take it so far as to say fathers are unnecessary, just because you may have picked the wrong man to get knocked up by.

There are those deadbeat muthaf#&%as. These are the lame ass dudes that never come around. That leave their kids waiting by the window wishing for the next car to be familiar. That swear to God they wouldn't miss your 8th grade graduation for the world and never show up. That promise to send you the money you need for school clothes and never send it. That torment their kids by making them feel like they aren't good enough to be loved by the man that made them.

I hate them. They make me want to go Ghostface on 'em ("I'll smack fire out ya ass son! Eat a dick muthaf#&$a!") Those filled with excuses cats. Those selfish bastards make me mad as hell. They don't stay completely out of the picture. They don't want to be too far away just in case their child does something special so they can jump in for the picture. It's too much for them to actually stop by and see their daughter for no reason, but suddenly they want to walk her down the isle when she gets married.

I want to stick up for men. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt because when my time comes around I don't want any precedents to keep me from being all up in my kid's lives. When those dumb sumbitches act up, responsible cats like myself get shorted by mothers scarred by worthless fathers. All the stories linger in the air, faceless and nameless, to be put on the next man up.

You see I'm a firm believer in the rights of fathers. I advocate for fathers every chance I get. I demand that women respect the rights of men as fathers all over the world. Fathers need to be included in decisions that have anything to do with their children. They need to have access to their kids. They shouldn't be relegated to being slapped with child support and whatever else the mother feels he should get.

Such is the nature of my problem. Soon as I plant my feet in the sand, ready to stand my ground, some dummy comes along ruining his kid's life. Torturing the babies by almost being there. He won't step up and help them. He doesn't have the decency to die and/or go away. That just makes it harder for everybody. For the mother for putting up with his ragedy ass, the child forever wanting to be be loved and accepted by his ragedy ass, and people like me trying to make sure fathers aren't marginalized socially and legally by his ragedy ass.

Ya sorry bastard.

Summer, Summer, Summertime

I'm ready to go to the movies.

I'm always get a little excited when this time of the year comes around. I'm somewhat of a movie enthusiast and summertime is when the studios release their big budget, flashy movies. Big budgets don't equal good movies. They often equal fun movies however. Summertime movies are "wow" movies. It's Hollywood showing off what it can do. Like magicians, they conference for months on doing amazing illusions and performing dazzling slights of hand to better make your money and time disappear. Most of the time it happens. Last year they got caught slipping and failed to make anything worth seeing. Fantastic 4? You poor rich bastids. I could tell that movie was gonna suck ass before the previews.

I feel sorry for them having such a tough year last year because honestly I want to get got. Of all the things I waste my money on seeing a good movie bothers me the least. I get more upset spending money on food than a movie (this is just for the summertime though). In the summer it's hot, work is stressful and all I need is to be entertained for a few hours. I can stop being a warrior in the struggle for a couple hours.

I got a few scenes that remind me of the magic movies have. These scenes aren't necessarily from summer movies but they represent the things I go to movies for.

"You move like them." The Matrix.
For all the holes in the overall story I got the point of The Matrix. What I think they really did succeed at was creating a world in which the movie takes place. It was different from anything ever seen or even imagined by most people. When they went to rescue Morpheus they get into a fight on the rooftops with the Agents. Neo turns and empties his guns. The agent does an incredible dodge move so fast you see multiple images of him. Neo is empty. Stuck in the open. One on one. "Trinity help" Then boom. The greatest special effects moment on film. It was slow motion but they were moving and going backwards in a 3D the bullet trails flew by Neo. It came out of nowhere and changed all effects after it. That was truly amazing.

"I'm the police!" Training Day
Alonzo jumps off the screen in Training Day. To this day he's one of the most powerful characters I can remember in any movie. You can complain about how Denzel had to play a bad guy to get an Oscar and all you want but you can't deny how amazing he was in that movie. Better than Malcom X...well, I can have a serious conversation with you about that. You can pick any of he's numerous monologues in Training Day, I say the last rant because it was the culmination of the whole ride. He was a man all about control that lost control, lost everything, and was still clinging to his power. Desperately trying to hold on to himself. "What a mothaf*#$n day."

"Dash, run!" The Incredibles
Computer animation has destroyed traditional animation. The same thing happened when they invented the lighter. After it came out who was really still trying to rub sticks together? A Toy's Story caught everybody's attention and The Incredibles takes it that much further. Animated features give the creators a chance to control everything completely. The characters, pacing, lighting, music. It allows them to make perfect movies. This sequence on the island where they were trying to catch Dash was super hot to me. I was giggling like a little kid when he started running on water. A good animated movie should turn grown folks into kids. (P.S. I still make no apologies for taking that kid's seat. He knows who he is. Life lesson: Get there early, lil' man.)

Gladiator
No scene from Gladiator was any better than the next. It is one of the most well acted complete movies out there. It has action, a little romance, tragedy, triumph. It has everything. One of my favorite movies.

Only time will tell if any movie this year is added to the list of favorites. I'm looking forward to Superman, X Men 3, and The Proposition.

I'll have to come back and post a ghetto classics movie review.

Swordfighting

Atlanta is the first place I have ever seen a dude actually holla at another dude in the mall. I'm talking about Dude #1 was standing on the wall at Lennox looking super gay with the extra breezy shirt on, and the leather band bracelet with the huge Dior shades on. Dude #2 is walking his way and catches Dude #1 checking him out. Dude #2 is extra crisp on some model s%&# with the razor thin beard. They looked at each other, exchange a few words, and Dude #1 whips out his celly. I don't hear the conversation but as Dude #2's body language leans closer to Dude #1, I know what is going down. I was witnessing my first gay hook-up.

I can't say I was as disgusted as I thought I would be. I don't know why I ever thought it would be so disgusting in the first place. I guess I've been sucked into the same thinking as the 74% of people in Georgia that voted to ban gay marriage. I heard the rhetoric about how nasty and evil it is for a man to be with a man. Pornography and southern rappers try to sell the lesbian angle. Woman on woman was supposed to be super sexy but I can't tell. I never really got down with it. Seeing a pretty woman kiss up with another chick unleashes my inner old man. ("I got sumthin for ya to kiss rite chea gurl"). Needless to say looking at another dudes ass is not my thing.

Seeing this little hook up changed my mind about the whole gay thing. Looking at those dudes, as captivated as I was, I couldn't help but notice how natural it was. No thunder and lightning. No tornado. No earthquake. It was a guy that likes guys, getting with another guy that likes guys. It makes perfect sense to me.

Where everything gets all mixed up is when people don't like it and decide to stop other people from living their lives. Dude #1 is not trying to fondle little boys. Dude #2 didn't grope every cat walking by. They were going about their day shopping and looking fabulous, when they looked up and heard violins. The world moved in slow motion as their eyes met from across the mall. Dude #2's shuttered with attraction, his eyes asking longingly "Are you..." Dude #1 nodded in a cool subtle reply. "Yessss"

Ok maybe it didn't go down that poetically. Maybe it was a little conversation, then back to the crib for a little swordfighting. I prefer not to think about that part.

The people out to ban gay marriage seem to be using the same argument they used to make black people slaves. God said it. They really don't have any good reason to logically suggest it is inherently wrong or detrimental in any way. Every point they have make comes down to "I don't think.." or "I feel..". It equals us legislating personal beliefs at the detriment of an entire category of people. They don't want homosexuals to be married because it undermines the institution of marriage. Last time I checked over half of heterosexual marriages end in divorce within 3 years, but no activist have come up to make it harder for people to get married all willy nilly.

They don't want homosexuals to adopt children because they ... are gay? I never have really got a real answer on why gay people can't raise kids. The adoption system in America is already over run with abandoned, abused, and neglected kids and almost 60% of them will live their whole lives in the foster care system. There is documented case after case of the sexual, mental and physical abuses they suffer in heterosexual foster care placements. Why won't you let a perfectly good couple with the will and the resources to love and care for a child, rescue that child from the wicked system that is steering them toward a life of substance abuse and criminal activity? Because you don't like gay people? That benefits you not the child. Who is this really supposed to be about?

My friend went to a graduation where the relatives got to hood the graduating class. Mothers hooded daughters. Aunts hooded nephews. At one point the announcer calls out a guys name and says he is being hooded by his "partner". She said people gasped and laughed, pointed, oooh'd and ahh'd. They need to stop with all that. Let that man spend his life with that other man, adopt(rescue) pretty black babies, go forth and prosper. He ain't bothering nobody. Long as they love each other who gives a damn. Not me.

There's Something About Cosby

I'm trying hard to understand why everybody is so mad at Bill Cosby.

(Yes it is my birthday and yes I'm still talking my s#&$. I can't stop like Diddy. Take dat, take dat, take dat)

At the Spellman graduation this past weekend he made another one of his personal responsibility speeches. This time calling out for black women to step up and take control of their lives and the black community. He said something to the effect of 65% of black women attending college graduate compared to 35% of black men. Our men are not stepping up into the positions they are needed and women must not wait around for them to find their way. Women need to be prepared to lead. They need to use the power of education and success to change their communities. I'm sure he touched on the misguided youth and backwards thinking of the hiphop generation, that always gets the crowd going.

Michael Eric Dyson is pissed. Dr. Dyson super pissed. He's been ranting and raving all week about this. He can not stand these comments. His whole argument is Cosby's comments do nothing but reinforce the negative stereotypes prevalent in the America. Cosby is taking the elitist stand point over common black people and condemning them for their actions without considering the social, economical, and mental effects of racism that have put them in their desperate situations. He says Cosby is perched far above the rest of society buffered form the hardships we all endure by celebrity and money. His comments are unhealthy to the struggle and demoralizes black people.

Dr. Dyson and his fellow anti-racism buddies are sort of right. When Bill Cosby speaks about personal responsibility he say nothing of the systemic racism and dominant white privilege cultural thinking that has created(and in some ways continues to create) obstacles to slow and stop the progress of colored people. He says nothing to the white people about how wrong they have been and what they have done to harm black Americans.

Why can't Bill Cosby get up and address what he feels is causing the problems of his people? Why does he have to be a traitor to the race because he doesn't scream to the mountaintop about how evil white people are and how racism has hindered us?

That's not his agenda. Bill Cosby is like a Pepsi rep that comes by the grocery stores (I used to be a store manager in my former life). If you talk to the Pepsi rep you can't demand that he talk about all sodas. You definitely don't want to ask him about Diet Coke. He's pushing Pepsi products, he's gonna talk about Pepsi products. Personal responsibility is his product.

Bill Cosby holds a particular place in society thanks to the image he created on The Cosby Show and all the things he's done for people over the years of his extremely successful career. What Dr Dyson and all his critics want to hear from Bill are their own agendas. They want him to prove their point. They want to hear that same "racism is bad" "blame the white man" stuff they preach to the masses. They are upset because he has not got in line with them and has dared to take an approach that is super critical of black people themselves. They can't go on with their crusade against those who they have indentified as the oppressors of black Americans, if a figure embraced by both white and black people speaks of the wrongs we are doing to ourselves.

Dr Dyson should let him talk. He speaks for a lot more people than his critics give him credit for. He speaks for people like me that lived tough lives and have created a better situation for themselves through trials and tribulations. People like me that get more outraged at the people that riots and scream about injustice oh so quickly when once a month a white guy does something to a black person, and you hear nothing from them, NOTHING!, when every other day of the month black people rob, rape and kill other black people. Racism didn't take my couch. I want to help my people by getting them to see and correct the weakness and wrongs in their lives. Not to judge them or codemn them. To give them the hope that they are missing in their lives that causes people to give up and settle and become victims of the system.

Like I always say no situation in life if as simple as it seems. Every piece of life that adds to the problem has to be addressed and corrected. You don't lose weight by excersing and keeping your diet the same. You don't become successful by getting a college degree then going home and watching tv all day. Our social, economic and mental problems as a people won't be solved by just fighting racism and blaming it for everything that has ever gone wrong in every black persons life. Like wise it won't be solved by just shaming everybody by citing their every flaw.

It can be helped, if not solved, by doing both. All the time Dr. Dyson spends challenging, dismissing, and vilifying Dr. Cosby he could be blazing his own trail to saving our people. I'm sure the two paths will meet somewhere between here and racial empowerment.

Besides all that ranting about the same thing all the time makes his show pretty boring.

Ice Cream Therapy

It's been a tough week for a lot of people. I'm sure my own personal struggles would surely bore you to pieces so I'll stick to the world at large. I'm passing out ice cream sandwiches to people today to help them cope with their hardships. Sitting back and enjoying a delicious ice cream sandwich goes perfectly with wallowing self pity.

(Disclaimer: The pity party ends when the sandwich ends. I can only tolerate that "whoa is me" s#$% but for so long. If creamy vanilla ice cream packed in between two chocolatey delicious wafers doesn't cheer you up, seek professional help because you got a problem)

Chris Daughtry got voted off American Idol. All you ever heard this whole season is how great Chris was. "Chris is a real artist." "Chris you're so wonderful" "Chris let me suck you off " Despite all that Chris got voted off in "an Idol shocker." Every since then this guy has done hundreds of interviews about how shocked he was. How disappointed he is at the outcome. How he just can't seem to understand what happened. How everybody told him he was gonna win. Dude! Get a hold of yourself! Eat this ice cream sandwich and listen to all the people complain about how they called your number and ended up voting for Katherine "I screech therefore I am" McPhee. You'll be alright. Now you can go learn how to take the wireless mic off the stand so you won't walk with it like a jerk. That s*#% was annoying.

Barry Bonds is getting shafted by the press and everybody. As he slowly but oh so steadily climbs past Babe Ruths homerun record nobody is showing this guy love. The MLB said they won't acknowledge him breaking that record because that other ni..uh..Hank Aaron already beat it into the ground. They won't celebrate twice. The press hates how he won't squirm and bow down to the almighty media. They want to put an asterisk beside his career numbers because of that pesky performance enhancing drugs thing. Fans say he's ruined the sport. They throw stuff at him. Not the regular comic-relief stuff from Looney Toons. like tomatoes, lettuce, eggs, that kind of stuff. They throw syringes. ?! What is that all about? Bottles and s*$%. They are really trying to take him out sometimes. Damn Barry. You get 2 delicious ice cream sandwiches dude.

This is very much out of character for me but I have to give George Bush an ice cream sandwich. I'll toss it to him 'cause I don't want that guy too close to me. When things were going good in his presidency he could get Congress to lick his ass clean after a good visit to the s#*$ter and all he had to worry about was those whining ass democrats. Now that guy gets no love from anybody. He was dickin around with the budget for a year then boom 9/11. Then the war goes way off track. The vice president starts hunting the elderly. Then the leaks start coming. People are jumping ship. It's now to the point that he gets blamed for everything. I personally blame him for my toilet getting stopped up the other day. I swear I saw a new report blaming him for the sun going down at the end of the day.
Then again he made a very long series of decisions that have ran the country into a ditch and made America the enemy of the known world. Gimme my ice cream sandwich back!

I don't know if I have enough sandwiches for this last one, so its first come first serve. Ice cream sandwiches for the whole rap industry. Outkast has dropped "The Mighty O" on yall and has made everyone of you look like fools! The beat is hard, the raps are hard AND CREATIVE!!. The hook is catchy and addictive. They have done it again suckas!

MIGHTY IGHT IGHTY YYYIIII!!
OHTY OOHTY OHTY OOOO!!

Oh Boy (cott)

I'm all for activism. Its not my thing but if you're going to commit yourself to walk in a 4 foot circle for 6 hours holding a homemade sign, then you go right ahead. I'll be thinking about you while I'm at work sending nasty emails to whoever you tell me has done you wrong (hey I got bills shawty). Not to say I can't be inspired to drag my ass out there and join people in the struggle. If this were the 50's or 60's I'd be out there with the dogs and the hoses. I might have to stop and get my raincoat like Grampa Freeman but I would definitely be there. We'd probably have to go shopping for some better sneakers, I don't think these loafers were designed with the wear and tear of protesting in mind. Somebody might have to call and remind me too, 'cause I'll start drawing and lose all track of time. But I digress.

The problem is I like to fully comprehend the situation before I get all righteous. This blind following business is not for me. I want to look at things with a level head and understand the issue at hand. I keep an open mind about the facts. I make the best decision possible given the information I have. After that if it's wrong, you got me. If it all make sense I'm all for it. That's not complicated at all.

The first proposal July 4th gas strike. Some random ass guy that used to be some head honcho at one of the oil companies put it out there that a gas boycott would get the oil people to lower prices (you can just about tell where I'm going with this already). Somebody else picked it up and took it a little further. "If we boycott for a whole weekend they would really feel the burn." Somebody else got the hand off and takes it home. "If we boycott on Independence Day weekend that'll really show those slick suited bastards."

There has been no dumber idea raised in the last couple of years than the idea of boycotting gas. We built our entire economy on gas. We can't live our lives without gas. This happened way back when big oil companies were little baby oil companies dreaming of fleasing the whole world of their hard earned dollars. Generations of conniving executives provided their reserves and everybody took advantage. The Model T clenched the title for the boys. Killed the transport train, moved horses to the stables, polluted the world. Oil reign supreme. They have so much money they threaten to challenge any new fuel technology that comes along. Its all kinds of "alternatives" to gas. Nobody, I repeat NOBODY, wants to invest in the wrong new age fuel system. That's millions, billions, of dollars gone. Poof. Oil still reigns supreme.

The solution to our gas problem isn't playing tic tac toe with them fools. Begging for them not to take all our money and make record profits, "Just take all the money you usually take. Please Mr Oil Man don't shove the gas nozzle any further up our asses. " Its absurd. Bottom line, if we didn't get gas on the Saturday and Sunday we'd just be filling up on Friday. We won't win that battle.

I'll pass on the gas boycott, thank you. Call me when its time to support sugar cars like they have in Brazil. They distill sugar juice for gas. You can't beat that.

Second proposal boycott the Da Vinci Code movie. This movie is allegedly against all things religious. It exists solely to smear the reputation of the Vatican and flies in the face of 2000 years of history. The bible is the most sacred of text and it is deplorable that a fictional book would dare question the absolute truth of it. They should not allow this movie to show. If they show it they should put a disclaimer in front of the movie saying its not real....alright I can't even finish this one.

I've read the Da Vinci Code. Its based on some very controversial ideas. BASED ON. It's a book. A WORK OF FICTION. The ideas that inspire the story have existed for years. It's nothing new. It's not even anti-christian really. It's a damn good book. Putting a disclaimer in front of a movie? C'mon. Does Mission Impossible have a disclaimer in front of it? Everybody knows its a movie. This movie is not going to cause this huge crisis of faith they want to cry about.

I think I'll pass on the Da Vinci Code movie boycott and if you're not here to buy a ticket you need to get in that other line. I've got to get my overpriced M&M's before the previews.

The Shuffle

With my trusty college degree in hand I managed to get me one of them nice jobs they always talk about. Yeah I'm woefully under paid. Yeah yeah with all this artistic training and talent I should be doing something more creative. Yeah yeah yeah I shouldn't get so content as to say this job is "nice" when my hearts desire couldn't be further away from designing sign layouts and handling digital output. Look that is not the point of this blog. I have reasonable hours, my own desk (my own little slice of hell as they say) and as long as you never f&*# up an order or stall a project you can operate pretty much unchecked. The best part is I get to bring my ipod to work.

The ipod is the single greatest human achievement since the light bulb. Yeah the computer is decent but they give you too much trouble every now and then. The internet is cool but all that damn porn disguised as "self help" is getting out of hand (no pun intended). I've lost more remotes than I ever owned, so they don't qualify. Anyway that is not the point of this blog. For a person like me that loves music, to be given the power to listen to every song you have ever kind of liked is the most amazing thing ever. It's like somebody releasing a study that says eating ice cream and oreo cookies every night before you sleep prolongs life. Sweet! I put my head phones on, hit "shuffle songs" and zone out.

"Babygirl" by Musiq.

"Hey baby girl/ why don't you come home with me/ and let me show you/what good lovin' can be/ cause I got so much love inside/ and I want to give it all to you baby girl"

I dig Musiq. All his albums have a good vibe to them. He always has the hot slow love songs "Love" and "Whoknows". "Halfcrazy" is my favorite joint though. A lot of people think he's too laid back. I knew we would be cool when I heard "Just Friends (Sunny)". Its about time for him to come back out now. He should pick up Maxwell on his way back.

"She Don't Have to Know" by John Legend

"oooohh stealing moments just to be with you/though its wrong its hard to tell the truth/ she don't have to know"

Damn John Legend is a genius. He deserved that grammy and a few other people's. This song is so vivid to me and it happens to be the most played song on my computer. When I hear it I feel that same anxiety from knowing you are wrong, but it just being so sweet you can't let it go.

"ooohh it's getting crazy/ I don't want to hurt my baby/ and I know its supposed be the last time / with you and I/ but let's not end this way/ let's wait another day"

Just one more day, baby. Please.

"Sometimes" by Cee Lo

"To remain plain and simplistic/ realistic/ accurate/ articulate/ and absolutely artistic/uninhibited/ unadulterated/ unstoppable/ unfuckwitable and unforgettable/ but since I've been granted the power of choice to let God be the voice he is/ so all the credibility is his"

Cee Lo is one of those cats you have to think about. He's not going to give you the just blase-blah that you are used to hearing. He challenges you to follow him where he's taking you. Everything from him seems inspired somehow. There is nothing truer than to be yourself. I need to get that Gnarls Barkley while I'm running my mouth.
Just let that oh-so-simple groove get in your head. "Whoa"

"Out of the Sky" by Van Hunt

"I've reached the end of my story/ and I still don't understand the plot/ I've reached the end of the line/ can't do nothing but stop/ I've reached the end of my glory/ no one will forget me now/ I've reached the top of my high/ can't do nothing but drop/ (Out of the Skyyyyyyy)"

The winner of the most slept on award. Van Hunt is the future. I love lyrics. Nobody has lyrics like Van Hunt. "In Hell Wih You" "Dust" "Anything" This guy has got lyrics for your ass. He's got a funky rock kinda of sound. On his second album he's taken it further to a Prince, Lenny Kravitz sort of thing. Very Very Cool. Don't look for his cd under Van Hunt. Apparently Van is his first name. Which I still think is weird.

"Young at Heart" by Joss Stone

"You wasting/ your time trying to tear us two apart/ you can't stop our plans/ we were destined from the start/ he loves me/ I love him/ and even though we're young at heart/ you're the one in denial"

What?! A black man can't listen to Joss Stone?!

"Top Back" by T.I.

"I like my beat down low/ and my top let back/ you see me ridin' 24/ wit a choppa in the bak/ if ya like your kenwood high/ and ya top let back/ if yo rims sit high/ and yo windas pitch blak/ aye!!"

T.I. has got personality. Most southern rappers I hear sound the same. Blah blah blah hustlin' blah blah trap blah blah blah look at my chain and my rims. Atleast T.I. adds a little flair to it. He knows about song structure and is willing to try some different things. His album is really well put together. A big plus is he's never said anything outrageously wack like a lot of southern rappers do. Like "good googlely moogly/ that thang is juicy". But that's not what this blog is about.

"In My Lifetime Remix" by Jay Z

"It's the thought of a ride that gets my eyes wiiiide/ I'm caught up/ I'm tryna make/ all of my dreams/ materialiiiize/ so I sorta/ said my goodbyes to the straight and narrow/ I found a new route/ you bout to see my life change"

Don't get me started about this dude. The greatest to ever do it.

"How Deep is the Ocean" by Miles Davis
!!!
What can you say about Miles Davis?

Matter fact...

Music *click*

Artists *click*

Miles Davis *click*

All *play*

Holla

Passion

I want to wake up one day and not know what damn time it is. That's when you know you slept hard. You lift your head and think to yourself "man it must be about 8 o'clock" It ends up being 2 in the afternoon. That's good sleeping.

I'm too focused for all that.

It be's like that sometimes, 'cause I can't control the rhyme.

I mean the inspiration, the urge to act. The longing for my mind to relinquish from its inner workings the ideas that burn within it. I have concepts that need to be expressed by color and line, by texture and techniques yet discovered. It calls me back to actuality to unburden myself of the ever growing weight of pre-creation that settles upon my shoulder, my back, my being with every unrealized masterpiece and every unforfilled prophecy of greatness that I visualize everyday. Not awakening from my slumber and refusing to succome to the clarion call of my God given gifts is tantamount to destroying the very essence of genius dwelling inside of myself that pleads for exposure.

The paintbrushes, the pencils, the pens are only the conduits of my understanding of my surroundings. The drawing, the painting, the utilization of media in the commission of creating artistic works are the manifestations of the continuous, unrelenting struggle to express the perceived realities of my existence. Any appreciation received is an embrace of my perspective and the acknowledgement of a minute triumph of one individual seeking to comprehend the world.

My art is the by product of my labors, not the end result.

The jubilation felt from showing my work and having just that moment of connection to another person, is dwarfed only by the momentary tranquility I feel from finally willing a piece of myself into reality. The birth of a thought to paper. I live to give my musings life and I would die were it taken from me.

That's passion.

Oprah's New Clothes

Arguing with Oprah about her show, coincidentally called the Oprah Winfrey show, displays a certain amount of ignorance about the realities of life. It's the Oprah show. She owns it, produces it, directs it, makes hundreds of millions of dollars a year from it, has built an unrivaled empire based on it. You don't go to the Oprah show as a vehicle for yourself. That's not exactly how it works.

Ludacris learned the hard way that Oprah runs the Oprah show. She controls the content, the people, the editing. All of it. Start to finish. No questions. So when he went on the Oprah show, she didn't even want him to be on there. She finally let him on because he was in the movie. From what he says she wouldn't let him talk on the show and in the final edit cut out a lot of stuff he said. After the show she took him in a room and chastised him about his music degrading women and promoting violence. Luda took offense and now he's making a song about her. I know he's out doing his acting thing and wants all that to be separate from his rapping. He wanted to be looked at as an actor when he's out promoting his acting ventures. That's stupid, Luda.

The only reason you were even considered for the roles you get is because you were a famous rapper. You are not an acting talent. You are a rapper turned actor. Or rapper slash actor. You're always going to be a rapper unless you completely stop rapping, which you won't do. When you promote movies you request all you fans to see your movies and support you. That means all the fans you have from rapping, right? You want live off all the good things that come from rapping but get offended when when they talk about the bad stuff too. You can't do that.

Oprah doesn't like how rappers degrade women ("How you not gonna f*#$?/Bitch I'm me/ I'm the got damn reason you in VIP"). Oprah doesn't like how rappers exploit sex to sell records (Chinese splits,splits/ slide on down that pole, pole/ and feel this dick, dick/ get it out of control). Oprah doesn't like how rappers promote violence (hollow bullets, I pull it/ I'm about to live in vain/ and then I drill em, refill em/ make sure they feel the pain). Oprah doesn't like the vulgar language and the use of the "n word"( I be that nigga name Luda/aka L-O-V-A-L-O-V-A/ F&#*that s*&# nigga what you wanna say). Knowing all this I'm pretty sure she's not going to invite you or your fellow rapper on her show. Having you on there would be almost an endorsement of what you do. Promoting the very thing she not only doesn't like but she feels is ultimately adding to the troubles of the youth and therefore the world.

Now where as you can get on other shows because they need you and your audience for rating, Oprah left that point in her career a loooong time ago. She could care less about you bringing your audience to her show. She made like $300 million dollars from her show LAST YEAR! You and your petty audience, 1 million people maybe on a good day, are insignificant. She can do whatever the hell she wants to do. She has put herself in a position where her opinion is the only one that matters. Unlike you she doesn't have to go out and promote the things she does hoping it pays off.

I think Oprah did something that was very old school. She actually took him off to the side and told him how she felt about what he does. Not(I think) out of a hate, but out of a concern for what he is doing and how it affects people. Every young person has had an older person try to tell them about how the world works, how everything is not what you see and how you have to have a bigger perspective about life. Parents and family do that all the time. Try to give their opinions. Give you something to think about. Twenty years later it turns out they were right and you wish you had listened to them.

Instead of thinking the world revolves around him, Ludacris needs to concede his rapping does affect everything he does. Despite the mandatory 1 introspective song per album to show depth, most of his music is filled with violence and drugs and degrading women and all that. If you don't really want to listen, suck it up and don't go near Oprah again. Because we all know Oprah really is the center of the universe.

Get Your Mind Right

Everytime some hiphop artist is involved in a shootout or beating or anything people always quick to get up in arms about violence in hiphop. "We need to do something about it" "This needs to stop" V103 even had the nerve, the audacity, to dust off "Self Destruction". Then after a long drawn out talkfest, in which they actually tried to convince me that the hiphop artists of today are out here as social activist and doing all they can to change the world, they proceeded to play the same music they always play. Violence, drug slinging and all. They're not ready to talk. Better yet they are ready to talk, but they're not ready to listen. So what are you going to talk about Solomon?

Water.

(Mos Def's voice)That cool refreshing drink.

I'm on that water. I was all up on soda for a minute. I loved me some sweet tea. I kept a pack of KoolAid in my jacket just in case something went down. What Dave Chappelle say? I want the purple stuff.

Thank the Lord for a little something called maturity. I went from big ass 5 sizes to big pants and t shirts to knowing what my actual size is with the hidden labels. Timbs and sneakers to Rockports and loafer. (I be killin 'em with the loafers yo). I also somewhere along the line managed to shake off my invincibility complex. I know people don't just live however they want without consequence. To live to be 80 or 90 you have to live like you want to be 80 or 90. That's why I got on that water. That cool refreshing drink.

Honestly I really don't feel that much physically better now that I'm on water. Its much more of a mental thing. Knowing that I'm drinking something that helps purify my body let's me feel like I'm doing the right thing. It made me take a closer look at all the other stuff I ingest daily. I changed my lifestyle. I'm all about nutrients and s&*#. Vitamins and s&*#. Living a long healthy life and s&*#. That's what I'm talking about.

I'm not smart enough to have come to this grand revelation all by myself. If it was up to me it would've been Rum and Coke to wash down my fried chicken and pizza. Huge, steroid chicken wings smothered in the closest artery clogging sauce. Thankfully, one day my beautiful fiance refused to turn the tv from Cheerleader Nation. I said "Is this what I have to look forward to for the next 20 years?" She replied "That's all I get is 20 years?" That's all it took to make me start to examine my life. I figured out how to make sure I was around for this lovely lady as long as possible. Now she gets to hear me complain about her tv shows for decades to come. Thanks to water.

That cool refreshing drink.

How Opal F#^$*D Up

Poor, poor Kaavya Viswanathan.

We know she's pretty. We know she's smart, hell she got into Harvard. We know she has two loving parents that provided a good life for her. We know she had a bright future ahead of her (emphasis on had). Like a lot of young people all across the planet Earth, Kaavya f#@%&d up.

People f#$% up all the time. Everybody knows one girl that got pregnant by some random ass dude she didn't even like. Everybody knows somebody that wrecked their car being stupid running their mouth on the phone. Everybody has tried to bake a birthday cake and didn't check to make sure the oven was set to bake instead of broil (or is that just me?). Our mistakes, while equally stupid and tragic, wasn't as charted or monumental as Kaavya Viswanathan's.

A few weeks ago in Entertainment Weekly I read an article on a gifted young writer taking the book world to fresh new heights. The 19 year old Harvard student had just got a six figure multi-book deal. Her first book How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life was being lauded as a the pearl in the oyster of teen novels. I think they reviewed it as an A-. The author was doing interviews all around the New York Times, USAToday, the book tour of course, reported movie talks and everything was roses. Turns out those roses belonged to somebody else. Specifically British writer Sophie Kinsella, author of Can You Keep a Secret? and Megan McCafferty author of Sloppy Firsts and Second Helpings. The similarities between the books are described as "nearly identical passages"

Damn shawty. You f#*$@d up.

They yanked the books from the shelves. Movie talks are over. All that work you did at that internship is being reviewed with a super fine tooth comb. Harvard is considering expelling you. Katie Couric attacked you on the Today show. Any dream you might have imagined in the recesses of your mind of being any type of writer are over. Yeah I burnt the hell out of that cake but I can make more cakes. They probably won't let you sign credit card receipts at the Walmart checkout. Bic will refuse to sell you pens.

Its over. You're a plagiarist. That's a big word for a thief and a liar. I hear your excuses about how you didn't know. You "internalized" those books because you loved them so much. That holds about as much water as a fishing net. Sounds like the same things you hear from guys that get caught cheating by their girlfriend with an ol ugly chick. What else could she really say though?

Poor, poor Kaavya. Karma came around and got you. Not Carson Daily's sweet funny karma from my My Name is Earl but the big ol ugly boogey man looking karma that scares all the little plagiarist straight.

You f#$%*d up. Atleast you weren't on Oprah. After the way she treated that last guy for saying his book was true when it wasn't, I'd hate to imagine what she would've done to you.

Sista Lois

There is no reason to be mad about Beyonce getting turned down for the role of Lois Lane in the Superman movie. She wouldn't have been that good anyway. Fighting Temptations and Austin Powers failed to move me into supporting her acting career. She(and all her other crossover entertaining, non acting friends) should stick to singing. The real travesty would have been the blatant, unwarranted manipulation of the Superman property that would have to happen to make Lois Lane black.

I'm a proud black man. I love my black people (especially my fine black sistas). I rarely go see movies without black leads or casts. I like seeing black people in movies just as much as anybody else. It's not about that. Besides its ridiculous for anyone to say that I have to support all black people because I'm black. Soul Plane. Need I say more?

As a comic book fan I would be outraged to see a black Lois Lane. A black Superman. A black Spiderman. A black Batman. I hated the fact that they made the Kingpin black in that wack ass Daredevil movie. I really hated that horrible black Catwoman (more because the movie was horrible in itself). Its not that the making them black disgraces them. It is a fundamental change to the character. It's like making an apple pie but instead of using apples you use cherries. That is not an apple pie.

For 60 years the Lois Lane and Superman characters have been burned into our subconscious. Superman the square-jawed, boy scout. Lois Lane the brunette, tough as nails reporter. Over the years they have been interpreted numerous ways. Frank Miller made Superman a government puppet fighting for an ideal that didn't exist. Tweaks can be made and liberties can be taken, but there will never be a day when Superman will answer the door and Louis Lane will be black on the other side. Why? Because it is not how they were created.

There is nothing wrong with creating a white character. There is nothing wrong with making a movie adaptation of your white character and wanting them to be played by a white person. I say exactly the same thing about classic black characters. It is something wrong with trying to make people change their ideas to fit your views of race. People want to force the new ideals of the race into old things. It's not always necessary. Lois Lane, Superman, comic book characters are not where racial battlegrounds should be fought. If we are bringing Superman into our new world of racial diversity let's give him some new black friends. Don't make people black all willy nilly.

It shows a huge amount of disrespect to a persons creation to make it something that it is not. There isn't much of a point in executing your artistic vision if people are just going to do whatever they want to with it. I want to be sure that all the stories, characters, and everything that I am working so hard to create and put out are properly represented the way I want them to be. That's not too much to ask for.